So, my sock bit me this morning. I mean, I was putting on my
sock, and I felt teeth! I yelped and tossed the sock away.
It smiled at me like socks just shouldn't do. I explaimed,
"What the fuck!"
"I am Beil-Nar, the sock
demon!" the sock cackled. "And you are my slave who
will do my every bidding!"
I looked at the sock for some
time and wondered, "Am I drunk?"
"Why do you
ask?" Beil-Nar asked.
I shrugged. "Because I'm
talking to Beil-Nar, the sock demon," I explained. "So
maybe I'm drunk. Or did someone slip something into my cereal
this morning? I don't know, but I've already got enough friends
with Jesus and Judas."
"I am not your friend,"
Beil-Nar said. "I am your master!"
"Man,
I am so glad I don't jerk off into socks," I said as I fished
for another sock from the laundry basket.
"What are you
doing?" Beil-Nar demanded to know.
"I
have to go to work," I explained.
"But you must do
my bidding!" Beil-Nar stated.
I looked at him and
shrugged. "Maybe after work. Go play with Judas.
Maybe he'll do what you want. Or Jesus; he likes plants."
I
left the room and passed Judas, TBOC, in the hall way as he headed to
watch morning TV with his coffee and a doughnut. "Hey,"
Judas, TBOC, said. "Just to warn you, you've got a sock
demon now."
"I know," I said as I put on my
coat. "The little fucker bit me. So what do I do
with a sock demon, anyway?"
Judas, the bag of chips,
shrugged. "I wouldn't put him on, by the sounds of
it."
"Funny," I said with a sigh.
I
was in my car when I realized that Judas, TBOC, was eating a
doughnut. You know, the least he could do is buy me a fucking
doughnut if he's getting one for himself.
fuck
