The fucking thing in the Fucking bathroom

The fucking thing in the fucking bathroom

"What the fuck is that smell?" Jesus, the sandwich, asked me as we were sitting on the couch.

I smelled myself and sighed.  "Fuck," I said.  I explained that there is this little thing above the urinal that sprays this super-concentrated room freshener every so often.  I said that I think it's broken, because for the last few days, that shit has fucking gone off while I was in mid-stream.  Oh, and that shit is the fucking worst!  It burns your eyes, even if your looking down, and then it burns your throat and the smell never leaves your nostrils!  And I'm absolutely sure that it fucking giggled the last time it happened.

"It giggled?" Jesus, the sandwich asked.

I nodded.

"Imps," he spat.  "You have imps in the bathroom at work."

I looked at Jesus, the sandwich, and wondered what the fuck he was talking about.  I shrugged and ate him.  Oh how delicious the body of Christ.

fuck