Jesus, the Sandwich

Jesus, the sandwich

Today, I spoke to God.  He was sitting there, in the form of Jesus, my sandwich, on my lap as I watched Spongebob.  Man, he was so good looking.  So, I prayed to Jesus, the sandwich, for all the normal things you pray for.  You know, world peace, help the destitute, and so on so I fucking seem like I care more about everyone else more that I care about what the fuck I want.  It was then that Jesus, the sandwich, stopped me to tell me his will.

His voice was that of fresh Italian bread and quality meats as he told me that in the next few months that he, Jesus, the sandwich, will be setting in motion some grand fucking heavenly plan of some sort.  Really, it going to be fucking amazing.  I would explain what the fuck Jesus, the sandwich, told me was to happen, but I really like the idea of surprising you.

As it turns out, I'm supposed to have a big fucking part of this big fucking scheme!  I'm so fucking psyched.  This shit is going to be fucking great.

So, after Jesus, the sandwich, told me of these things, he was silent.  I took him into my mouth and, holy fuck, did he, Jesus, the sandwich, taste so fucking good.  Oh, how that delicious mayo slid down my throat... oh, I need me another sandwich of God!


fuck